Again, with the game Katawa Shoujo, the characters all
reflect a little about me in the game. The main character
has a weak heart, and after being asked out on a date,
his heart begins to give out on him and he goes in the
hospital. Then, he is sent to a special school with a 24
hour nursing staff. I have a somewhat weak heart, and I
run cross country. Whenever I have problems breathing or
running, I feel weak, like this should not be happening.
I blame myself for being as weak as I am, I am not living
my life the way it should if these things happen. Periods
throughout this year, I was in pain for unown reasons.
Every time I felt the pain, I thought to myself that this
pain was a pain that I did to myself. It was my fault for
the pain, for some reason. I felt hopeless and uncapable
to do anything. Most of the time in my life, it seems, I
do not know what to do. Again, with the hopelessness and
incapability. The feeling of not knowing what you can do
just made me feel absolutely unable to do anything other
than just accept it and take the beating. It was an aweful
feeling, just like the feeling of pain that made me feel
as if I were weak. These weaknesses I have should be
possible to be avoided, yet I feel them. I was too weak.
In relation to myself and the other character again;He was
asked out by his crush at the time, and that triggered
his heart to go out. I would not expect my crush to ever
do something like this, and I don't find myself getting a
girlfriend either, at this point. To all my friends, I
just say that I don't want one, but now I debate if this
is true. Even if I really wanted one, how would I go about
it? I don't know. I wouldn't know what to do. Again,
hopelessness. He got sent to a hospital for a while after
the accident. If I were sent to a hospital for anything
other than the checkup, that would be a sign of real
weakness to me.
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